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Don't tell me to calm down

11/10/2016

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It's over.  Accept it.  Donald Trump won.  Time to move on and heal our divisions.  Time to roll up our sleeves and get to work.  Time to stop talking about politics, which I find boring and divisive anyway.  It's been 36 hours, I mean, come on.  Don't be so melodramatic.

NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN.

Here are some completely real things that are actual or potential results of this election that will not go away in 36 hours or a week or month or year.  Some of them are forever.  Forever.
  1. Once again, we do not have a woman president, and so much of this campaign was rooted in deep sexism, both blatant and subtle, that we women are now painfully aware of just how rigged the system is against us.  Still.  Women of my generation (I'm 45) were brought up by our newly feminist mothers to think we could do anything, be anything.  Not only is that manifestly untrue, but even OUR daughters, 30 years later, now have to doubt it. 
  2. My LGBT+ loved ones may lose certain basic rights, such as their right to marry or to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender.
  3. Everyone I know or work with who is an undocumented immigrant now has to live with an increased level of fear, and rightfully so.
  4. Everyone I know who is a person of color, immigrant, and/or Muslim (screw it, even Jews!  This is so crazy) now has to feel that approximately half the country either hates and fears them, or at the very least cares so little about their rights and well-being that they are willing to casually endanger those things.
  5. Women may lose access to abortion.
  6. A temperamentally aggressive and impulsive man will be in charge of our extremely sensitive foreign policy.  In addition to being aggressive and impulsive, and having a pathological need to "win" everything, he appears to know no more about the subject matter than I do, possibly less.  And his inability to pay attention to information for more than 3 seconds or listen to the advice of others means that informed counsel will be of limited use.  We could end up in pointless wars over personal affronts, discontinue important alliances, and/or initiate the use of nuclear weapons.
  7. We will almost certainly bow out of the Paris climate accords.  We will move backwards on energy and climate policy when it is critical that we move forwards very, very fast, if we are to avoid total disaster.  We will see significantly worse climate change, more severe weather events, lose land to stupid development, lose species at an even faster rate, fail to protect what is fast slipping away.  These effects are forever.  They can't be reversed four years later.  They have permanent planetary impact.
  8. The painful, slow, did I mention painful progress that we have been making the past few years in highlighting issues of race, police brutality, and criminal justice reform will likely be erased.
  9. Unpredictable worldwide economic effects may change our lives dramatically.  This is a slow-burner one, but still scary in a personal sense.  Last night I pondered whether we should order pizza (because I did not have the heart to cook), or whether we really ought to start carefully hoarding our resources immediately.  (We got the pizza.  I'm not insane.)

I'm sure there are so, so many other things that I would think of over the next two minutes or seven hours or whatever-- I could go on writing this just about forever.  But I think this is enough to convey the point: YES, I AM FREAKING OUT.  IT IS COMPLETELY RATIONAL TO BE FREAKING OUT.  If you are a Trump voter, or a third-party voter, or a disaffected voter, or a low-information voter, or even a Democratic voter who sees this as just another ordinary election that we lost, please don't come along and tell us to settle down or get to work immediately on something positive.  We'll do those positive things once the dust settles and we can identify what the fuck they are.  But for now, there is a real need to grieve, and to do it in an open way such that we can connect with others who are also grieving and freaking out.  Please don't tell us to shut up.  Thank you.
​
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What begins ugly doesn't end that way

7/29/2016

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I had every intention of putting together an assemblage something like this one from Huffington Post, in which mostly male pundits complained about Hillary Clinton's voice quality last night during and after her acceptance of the nomination.

In fact, after watching the speech myself, I arose while saying to my husband, "I think she did pretty well!  But just wait, people are going to be complaining about her facial expressions."  You see, after the first few minutes (during which Clinton had smiled almost frantically, in a way that actually did bug me because of its manifest artificiality), Hillary settled back into her own speaking style, complete with occasional frowns and (at the climax of her speech) intense, flashing eyes.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I"m perfectly aware that, in a male speaker, an air of seriousness and an aura of intensity would be viewed as wholly appropriate, even charismatic.  But how often have we heard from pundits that Hillary Clinton should smile more?  I was afraid the same criticisms would instantly reappear.

(People all know that the smile originates with apes as a submissive signal, right?  We smile, first and foremost, to demonstrate our non-aggression with each other.  Friendliness.  But we might want to pause before insisting that women, especially, must consistently telegraph their submissiveness.  Any other waitresses out there been nudged by older male customers to "smile!"  Does this happen to you much, male servers?  How about you, white male presidents?)  

So, I worried.  And I assumed.  And I figured today I would look around at responses to Clinton's speech, and easily gather more material nitpicking at her face, voice, clothing, and general demeanor than could possibly be assimilated into a short discussion of sexism in political commentary.

Of course, these sexist, superficial responses do exist.  On the Politico page where Hillary's remarks are printed in full, the very first comment (by a woman, no less!) reads, "Why does the poor old hag keep having to clear her throat?" 

Um, maybe she's giving a long speech in a large arena and could use a glass of water.  Poor old hag.

Unsurprisingly, the conservative press does not leave us without plenty of examples of this crap.  The National Review's article about her convention speech called her presentation "her usual hectoring."  A commenter on this piece revisited the "hag" meme: 
"The more Hillary speaks the more her poll numbers drop.  Nobody wants a Hag in chief."

Apparently, the press has by now been called out so often for these misogynist attitudes that the National Review felt the need to write a separate defense of why their attacks on Clinton's voice and personality are not sexist.  Their next article, "Hillary's Critics Don't Hate Her Because She's a Woman," (subtitle: "They Hate Her Because She's Hillary") begins with the sentence, "Hillary Clinton has a heinous, grating, and dissonant voice."
 But, the author argues, the fact that he has at times enjoyed the speeches of other women (Michelle Obama; Laura Ingraham; Sarah Palin) makes it impossible for sexism to be present in his critique.  Hillary, in his view, is simply uniquely "unappetizing."  (Just think about that word choice for a bit.  Let's imagine, reader, that you are a Democrat who abhorred George W. Bush.  Would you describe him as "unappetizing?"  Or would you perhaps choose some other term that did not suggest he was a dish to be consumed?)

So... because Michelle Obama has an amazing talent for smiling widely while she speaks (a fact that I noted on Monday night, and immediately realized that this alone might account for her much greater popularity as First Lady)... does this then mean that requiring successful women to smile while speaking is not sexist?  If you enjoy the dulcet tones of some women's speech and find another's to be "hectoring" and "lecturing," indeed "grating" and "heinous" (yet rarely comment on the vocal quality of men's delivery), does this mean that your vocal requirements for women are not sexist?   

Or perhaps it's not that you hate women; it's that you hate women who don't act according to your sense of proper womanliness.  From the comments section: "Part of why we hate her is because she is not a woman, Her ruthlessness makes Dick Cheney seem like Richard Simmons."  So much to unpack here.  Why bring poor Richard Simmons into it?  With apologies to him, obviously this means "Hillary Clinton is so masculine that she could emasculate a tough guy like Dick Cheney."

Or, one can just keep it simple: "Hillary is as ugly as the bottom of an outhouse pit."  Sounds like Trump channeling to me.

Okay, but here's where things get better.  Up until now I have been (mostly) citing the articles and comments section of a markedly right-wing publication.  Honestly, what would you expect to find?  So, my plan for the second half of this piece was to head on over to the liberal blogs, where (in my admittedly outdated experience) plenty of misogynistic Clinton-haters also hang out, and find them saying the Same. Damn. Things.

Only they weren't.


Daily Kos, where I practically lived for 4 years from 2004-2008 (I met my husband there!), can always be counted on to have a substantial and loud contingent who support Hillary, and an equally substantial and loud contingent who support the Other Guy (in 2008, that was Obama; in this case, Bernie).  That is still true, I think.  But here are some things that the former Bernie supporters were saying about Clinton's speech:

What an amazing week. The four days gave people time to celebrate Bernie and the platform (and Clinton herself) commits to significant progressive priorities that will benefit so many. And I thought her speech last night was her best ever. [...]  I'm (still) a Sanders supporter and (also) all in for Hillary. 

I thought the convention was an incredible success and I enjoyed watching every minute of it. I am still sad about Bernie’s loss but I plan to volunteer for Hillary, which I was planning to do before the convention. After the convention I know more about Hillary and I’m very proud and excited that we will elect the first woman president in November [...]  The speeches were amazing[...]  Hillary’s speech was the topper. I’m so proud of her and of this country.

.
..​Hillary has not shoved the left out the door at all.  Her speech outlined a very progressive agenda which included a good portion of Bernie’s message along with some ideas as to how to combat income inequality.  Hillary heard their voices during the primary, she needs help putting their plans into action and not being shouted down.  [...]  Protest is important when your voice isn’t heard.  Once someone starts to listen, you need to be willing to come to the table with plans. 
​

I was a late comer to the Hilliary campaign, having been a Bernie supporter with the intention of supporting the Democratic nominee should he not prevail. [...]  So, I came into the Convention backing Hilliary as the Democratic nominee, not as the first woman nominated by a major party nominee. Yet, as the Convention aired night after night, I found myself in awe of our Party; our diversity, our passion, our determination, our pride in, and love for, our current President & First Family and Vice President & Second Family, our current Presidential & Vice Presidential nominees & their families, and of America, our great country.[...]  You guessed it, by the time Chelsea had finished her wonderfully warm and loving introduction of her mother, I was bawling like a baby. I am no longer an unwilling backer of Hilliary Clinton. Deal me in.

I  am voting for Hillary, not the lesser of two evils, because my party showed me who she really is, warts and all.


In browsing through hundreds of comments there, I did not see one that referred to Hillary Clinton as a hag or a bitch, or even expressed "concern" about her voice or face or carriage.  And I can tell you, THAT IS REAL PROGRESS.  

Someone did refer to Megyn Kelly as "a tool," which, while an ad hominem attack, is at least not sexist.

Returning to a broader media scope: I browsed a great many mainstream press pieces about Clinton's acceptance speech.  Apart from the National Review, almost all of them focused on the content of her speech.  Maybe they were effectively shamed back in March, when even the likes of USA Today pointed out that male pundits were focusing disproportionately on her unfeminine delivery.  But, whatever the reason, they have done much better today, and, America, that is something to be proud of.

Maybe this country really is ready for a female president.


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Wednesday Democratic Convention highlights

7/27/2016

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​You know what made me mad on Wednesday night?  A faction of the audience at the convention chanting "No More War" so loudly that it significantly distracted attention from former Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta saying this (my transcription):

"Donald Trump asks our troops to commit war crimes, endorses torture, spurns our allies from Europe to Asia, suggests that countries have nuclear weapons, and he praises dictators from Saddam Hussein to Vladimir Putin.  Today-- only today-- let me point out something that just happened today.  Donald Trump, today, once again took Russia's side.  He asked the Russians to interfere in American politics.  Think about that.  Think about that for a moment.  Donald Trump, who wants to be president of the United States, is asking one of our adversaries to engage in hacking, or intelligence efforts, against the United States of America to affect an election.  As someone who was responsible for protecting our nation from cyberattacks, it is inconceivable to me that any presidential candidate would be that irresponsible.  I say this out of a firm concern for the future of my children and grandchildren: Donald Trump cannot become our commander-in-chief."
I am not a fan of our still-too-hawkish military policy either.  But what Panetta was saying at that moment was crucial, highly topical, and potentially convincing to voters who might not be members of the choir.  It needed to be heard loud and clear.  But even I had trouble listening through the drama of the disruption.  And headlines this morning tended to focus on the protest instead of Panetta's message.  Does anybody really, truly, 100% honestly believe that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are "equally as horrible?"  Or can those of us who don't like Clinton (I kind of do) try and remember what "lesser" means when they announce that they don't want to "pick between the lesser of two evils?"  When there are only two possible outcomes, WHY WOULD YOU NOT PICK WHAT YOU YOURSELF HAVE IDENTIFIED AS THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS?

(Side note: on the topic of Clinton's and Trump's alleged similarities, I have found what may be the stupidest political opinion piece ever written for a mainstream news site.  Thanks, CNN!)

Okay.  So that was Panetta.  Now some excerpts from a couple of people who weren't relentlessly heckled.  

Michael Bloomberg's speech-- and he's not even a Democrat (he spoke in favor of Bush at the 2004 Republican convention), and  he's a billionaire like Trump, so why are we not heckling him if we're going to heckle somebody?-- anyway, Bloomberg's speech may have seemed like lukewarm support from the point of view of Clinton supporters.  It basically cast Clinton as... the lesser of two evils.  And, again, as far as undecided voters go, it is the exact speech that needs to be made, over and over and over again.

There are times when I disagree with Hillary. But whatever our disagreements may be, I've come here to say: We must put them aside for the good of our country. And we must unite around the candidate who can defeat a dangerous demagogue. [...]

Throughout his career, Trump has left behind a well-documented record of bankruptcies, thousands of lawsuits, angry shareholders and contractors who feel cheated, and disillusioned customers who feel ripped off. Trump says he wants to run the nation like he's run his business. God help us. [...]
The bottom line is: Trump is a risky, reckless, and radical choice. And we can't afford to make that choice!

Now, I know Hillary Clinton is not flawless; no candidate is. But she is the right choice — and the responsible choice — in this election. No matter what you may think about her politics or her record, Hillary Clinton understands that this is not reality television; this is reality. She understands the job of president. It involves finding solutions, not pointing fingers, and offering hope, not stoking fear. [...]


​The presidency of the United States is the most powerful office in the world, and so I say to my fellow Independents: Your vote matters now. Your vote will determine the future of your job, your business, and our future together as a country.

To me, this election is not a choice between a Democrat and a Republican. It's a choice about who is better to lead our country right now: better for our economy, better for our security, better for our freedom, and better for our future. 

There is no doubt in my mind that Hillary Clinton is the right choice this November. So tonight, as an Independent, I am asking you to join with me — not out of party loyalty, but out of love of country. And together, let's elect Hillary Clinton as the next President of the greatest country in the world, the United States of America.


I can't believe I am quoting extensively from a speech by the 8th-richest person in the world, ​a man who supported George W. Bush, and a man who could say, elsewhere in his speech last night, "When I enter the voting booth each time, I look at the candidate, not the party label."  (Ow, the stupid hurts!  You are aware of how our legislatures work under a two-party system, right?)  But that is kind of the point.  All kinds of non-insane people can and should come together now to support the non-insane candidate, whether we agree on all the finer points or not, even whether we agree on the big points or not.  Hillary Clinton is the non-insane candidate.  Ergo, we must fight for her.

Finally, for anyone (like myself) who fell asleep before our beloved President Obama, who finally took the podium close to 11 pm, got very far into his remarks: let me leave you with a selection of his well-chosen words.
This guy.
Now, eight years ago, Hillary and I were rivals for the Democratic nomination.  We battled for a year and a half.  Let me tell you, it was tough, because Hillary’s tough.  Every time I thought I might have that race won, Hillary just came back stronger.

But after it was all over, I asked Hillary to join my team.  She was a little surprised, but ultimately said yes – because she knew that what was at stake was bigger than either of us.  And for four years, I had a front-row seat to her intelligence, her judgment, and her discipline.  I came to realize that her unbelievable work ethic wasn’t for praise or attention – that she was in this for everyone who needs a champion.  [...]

You know, nothing truly prepares you for the demands of the Oval Office.  Until you’ve sat at that desk, you don’t know what it’s like to manage a global crisis, or send young people to war.  But Hillary’s been in the room; she’s been part of those decisions.  She knows what’s at stake in the decisions our government makes for the working family, the senior citizen, the small business owner, the soldier, and the veteran.  Even in the middle of crisis, she listens to people, and keeps her cool, and treats everybody with respect.  And no matter how daunting the odds; no matter how much people try to knock her down, she never, ever quits. 

​That’s the Hillary I know.  That’s the Hillary I’ve come to admire.  And that’s why I can say with confidence there has never been a man or a woman more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve as President of the United States of America. [...]

And then there’s Donald Trump.  He’s not really a plans guy.  Not really a facts guy, either.  He calls himself a business guy, which is true, but I have to say, I know plenty of businessmen and women who’ve achieved success without leaving a trail of lawsuits, and unpaid workers, and people feeling like they got cheated.

Does anyone really believe that a guy who’s spent his 70 years on this Earth showing no regard for working people is suddenly going to be your champion?  [...]

America is already great. America is already strong. And I promise you, our strength, our greatness does not depend on Donald Trump.

In fact, it doesn't depend on any one person. And that, in the end, may be the biggest difference in this election, the meaning of our democracy. [...]

America has never been about what one person says he'll do for us. It's about what can be achieved by us, together, through the hard and slow and sometimes frustrating, but ultimately enduring work of self-government.

And that's what Hillary Clinton understands. She knows that this is a big, diverse country, she has seen it, she's traveled, she's talked to folks and she understands that most issues are rarely black and white. She understands that even when you're 100 percent right, getting things done requires compromise. That democracy doesn't work if we constantly demonize each other. [...]

These are the things that Hillary knows. It can be frustrating, this business of democracy. Trust me, I know. Hillary knows, too. When the other side refuses to compromise, progress can stall. People are hurt by the inaction. Supporters can grow impatient and worry that you're not trying hard enough, that you've maybe sold out.

But I promise you, when we keep at it, when we change enough minds, when we deliver enough votes, then progress does happen. And if you doubt that, just ask the 20 million more people who have health care today. Just ask the Marine who proudly serves his country without hiding the husband that he loves. [...]

See, my grandparents, they came from the heartland. Their ancestors began settling there about 200 years ago. I don't know if they had their birth certificates, but they were there.

They were Scotch-Irish mostly, farmers, teachers, ranch hands, pharmacists, oil rig workers. Hardy, small-town folks. Some were Democrats, but a lot of them, maybe even most of them were Republicans, the party of Lincoln. And my grandparents explained that folks in these parts, they didn't like show-offs, they didn't admire braggarts or bullies.

They didn't respect mean-spiritedness or folks who were always looking for shortcuts in life. Instead, they valued traits like honesty and hard work, kindness, courtesy, humility, responsibility; helping each other out. That's what they believed in. True things, things that last, the things we try to teach our kids.

And what my grandparents understood was that these values weren't limited to Kansas. They weren't limited to small towns. These values could travel to Hawaii.
​
They could travel even the other side of the world, where my mother would end up working to help poor women get a better life trying to apply those values. My grandparents knew these values weren't reserved for one race; they could be passed down to a half- Kenyan grandson, or a half-Asian granddaughter; in fact, they were the same values Michelle's parents, the descendants of slaves, taught their own kids living in a bungalow on the south side of Chicago.

They knew these values were exactly what drew immigrants here, and they believed that the children of those immigrants were just as American as their own, whether they wore a cowboy hat or a yarmulke, a baseball cap or a hijab.

America has changed over the years. But these values that my grandparents taught me, they haven't gone anywhere. They're as strong as ever; still cherished by people of every party, every race, every faith. They live on in each of us. What makes us American, what makes us patriots is what's in here. That's what matters.

And that's why we can take the food and music and holidays and styles of other countries and blend it into something uniquely our own. That's why we can attract strivers and entrepreneurs from around the globe to build new factories and create new industries here. That's why our military can look the way it does, every shade of humanity, forged into common service. That's why anyone who threatens our values, whether fascists or communists or jihadists or homegrown demagogues, will always fail in the end.


​I will miss you, dear Mr. President: the only truly great president of my lifetime so far.  May we not tarnish your legacy by immediately electing a maniac to undo everything you've accomplished.
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The November 2016 election-- even more important than eating

7/26/2016

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This is one of those times when it is hard not to turn every blog into a political blog.  I am horrified right now, people.  And I have nothing more worthy or insightful to say than anyone else, but still, I cannot help but take a moment to say: WTF?  WTF, America?  
Bizarrely available via Weebly's free image library.
Do you want this two-dimensional billboard of a two-bit dictator to be your head of state?  Because that is exactly what you are flirting with.  Rumor has it that actual governing will be delegated, as befits a leader who has no interest in being more than a paper tiger.  Unless it turns out that he is basically Mussolini.  It is not clear which one it will be, which is a stunning risk to take.

Meanwhile, while all the posturing, xenophobic policy-making, and/or violation of civil liberties are taking place, SOME VERY URGENT PROBLEMS WILL GO UNADDRESSED.  This, to my mind, is the greatest danger of a Donald Trump presidency.  Donald Trump does not believe climate change is a problem.  Donald Trump thinks gun laws should be even less restrictive, to the point that even the NRA finds his positions extreme.  Trump doesn't think the federal government should be in the business of setting a national minimum wage.  Trump's response to suffering outside our national borders is to build a wall, stick our fingers in our ears, and hum loud.

In particular: sane people know that, if we do not do everything we can to slow climate change RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and redouble those efforts constantly via improved technology and cultural adaptation, much of humanity will not survive for long, and many of those who are surviving will be getting by only by the skin of their teeth.  WE CANNOT AFFORD TO WAIT UNTIL THIS STUPID, SELF-DEFEATING NATIONAL WHIM PLAYS ITSELF OUT.  We don't have 4 years, or 8 years, or longer than that if our current political system is subverted.  Not only the future of the United States is at stake, but, by virtue of our emissions as well as our foreign and economic policies, the entire world will potentially fall victim to the vagaries of our national freaking mood.

Hillary Clinton isn't perfect, but she will keep us moving-- albeit more slowly than I would like-- in the right direction while we search for better answers.  She can at least correctly identify many of the problems, even if she doesn't have all the solutions handy.  She is basically on the right side of most issues, and she has the practical experience-- in multiple branches of government-- to know how things actually get accomplished.  Would I like someone with a magic wand to come along and change the world radically, right now, to my specifications?  Of course!  And Hillary Clinton will not be that person.

But she's also not a crook, nor a whore, nor a lying bitch; and she's certainly-- and I can't believe I even have to make this distinction-- not an egocentric fascist (and possible tool of Russia?), which makes her far superior to Donald J. Trump.  So I'm not going let her imperfections send me into a hissy fit resulting in a protest vote for a) the most dangerous presidential candidate we've seen in a long time, b) Jill Stein (whom you know damn well can't win) or c) nobody, nobody, nobody, I'll put my fingers in my ears and hum loud and STAY HOME.  Please, people!  I don't actually believe it is hyperbole to say, THE FUTURE OF THE ENTIRE WORLD IS AT STAKE.  Not that Hillary Clinton can save the world.  But Donald Trump could certainly destroy it.

I know, it sounds like hysteria.  But he could!  Directly, or much more likely, indirectly, while he is farting around with his walls and his fomenting of hatreds and erecting of statues in his own honor.  We do not have time for this.

And for those who are beginning to wail that, because of a few recent polls showing him in an improved position, Trump has already won...  you're making me so angry I can hardly see straight.  Believe me, I can relate to your sense of panic.  But, if we have less than four months to avert the apocalypse, please let's not use this time wearing sackcloth and lying in ashes.  If you live in a state that is at all competitive, go volunteer for the Clinton campaign right now.  If you don't, donate what you can.  Talk to people.  Stay informed and don't propagate nonsense.  WE MUST WIN AND WE WILL.

The alternative is unthinkable.
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    Whodunit

    The author is a waitress, home cook, and foodie who has trouble sticking to a subject.  She currently resides and works in the Maryland suburbs of D.C..

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