Nov. 24
Breakfast: leftover coleslaw, dried gooseberries, pistachios, chocolate-covered almonds. 

My daughter's breakfast: brown rice crispies and milk, only half the bowl because she said she felt "a little queasy."  By 8:15 am she had called and left me a message to pick her up at school because she was throwing up.  The school nurse briefly lectured her that, when feeling queasy, one should avoid foods like milk and orange juice.  True, but not all that helpful after the fact.

Lunch: hard-boiled egg, little chunks of asiago and smoked provolone cheese, last slice of cornmeal toast with butter, handful of grape tomatoes.  The grape tomatoes were good.  I rediscover that I don't like smoked cheese.  My daughter likes it, so I'll save the rest for her.

Dinner: cooked for our last supper with Scarlet and Joseph.  White rice, tofu of the same easy kind I've been making lately, Madhur Jaffrey's Poached Eggplants with a Korean Hot Sauce.  Scarlet appreciated the Korean sauce, which had gochujang in it.  Joseph liked the tofu.  Althea ate nothing.  Joseph brought us an Oreo cake from Whole Foods.  It was disgusting-- horribly sweet, with frosting that had the consistency of shortening, and soggy whole Oreos on top.  Still, I appreciated the gesture, though it might have had a self-serving component:  he wanted to eat all the Oreos.  I picked the cake out from between the layers of frosting and ate that.  (Having done a bit of belated research just now, it is possible that this was a vegan cake, and that was why both the frosting and Oreos tasted so weird.  Probably Scarlet and Joseph would not have noticed this detail in purchasing.)

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee, 2 regular, 2 decaf, with half and half.  A "pretzel" roll from Safeway before bed.  Those rolls just call to me for some reason.  I am becoming bread-addicted again.

Breakfast: 1 banana, slice of cornmeal toast with natural ground peanut butter, slice of sour cream poundcake.  I didn't want peanut butter on my toast, I wanted regular butter.  But the peanut butter was literally the only protein-type food remaining in the house.  We are out of eggs.  We are out of cheese.  We are out of salami.  We are out of yogurt.  We are out of nuts.  Now we are also out of peanut butter.  At least I have the day off today and can shop.

Lunch: I have not shopped yet.  I thought of another protein food: sour cream.  Dip made of sour cream mixed with sambar powder (because, why not?), paired with carrot medallions.  Slice of cornmeal toast with butter and strawberry jam.  Slice of poundcake.  The poundcake is gone now.

Shopping!: At Safeway, where I proceeded to spend just as much money as I do at Whole Foods.  The assumption that these mainstream groceries are substantially cheaper seems to be inaccurate.  It would be interesting to do some analysis of this, and, knowing me, I will someday.  Anyway, shopping: mirin (sweet rice cooking wine), dried shiitake mushrooms, basmati rice, green lentils, regular long-grain rice, clover honey, flaky sea salt, brown cage-free eggs, 2% lactose-free milk, half and half, 6 Dannon Oikos greek yogurts (various flavors), quart of plain whole-milk Fage greek yogurt, 6 store-made assorted rolls, thin boneless pork chops, organic boneless chicken breasts, 12 lemons, scallions, 3 eggplant, ginger root, organic bananas, organic yellow onion, chocolate-covered almonds, bag of mandarin oranges, 2 packages organic extra-firm tofu, fresh chives, olive oil, grape tomatoes, "golden berries" aka dried gooseberries, asiago cheese, smoked provolone, pistachios.  Total $149.

​At the liquor store: bottle of sake, $13.

Dinner: roasted potatoes and farm sweet potatoes; farm cabbage slaw with a dressing made of mayonnaise, whole grain mustard, honey and cider vinegar, plus salt and lots of pepper: chicken breast tenders coated with cornstarch, salt and pepper, dipped in egg, then rolled in a mixture of panko bread crumbs, unsweetened coconut, and a little sugar (I used too much sugar) and baked.  This was an OK dinner, not great.  It sounded and looked better than it actually tasted.

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee with heavy cream, 2 regular, 2 decaf.  Safeway-made jalapeno-cheddar bread roll.  The latter beckoned to me irresistibly before dinnertime, and it was strangely delicious.  Recommend.

Nov. 21
Breakfast: farm carrot sticks, mandarin orange, salted almonds mixed with Craisins.

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee with half and half (2 regular, 2 decaf), glass of fresh carrot-orange juice (I started to feel faint behind the counter at work), several spoonfuls of white chocolate malt milkshake (for the same reason), which was just about the sweetest thing I've ever tasted in my life.  I mean that literally.  It's not particularly a positive thing.

Lunch: After work, from the restaurant.  Grilled swiss cheese with ham and tomato on rye.  Side of steamed spinach with sesame oil.  They didn't even bother to heat up the latter.  Doesn't anybody like me anymore?

Restaurant follies: there was already shouting between our two primary waitresses this morning by 9:30 am. (I was working the counter today, not waitressing.) That was extremely early; usually they don't start falling apart until later, around 1:30, when they get hungry.  It seemed like a bad sign.  But everybody pulled it together.

Shopping (at coop): brown rice crisp cereal, 3 rolls Seventh Generation toilet paper, a salami, coffee beans, bananas, $26.  (At bakery): loaf of cornmeal bread, small loaf of sour cream poundcake, $13.

More snacks: My stepson was stopping at our house prior to attending my daughter's high school play tonight, and none of us would have time for dinner beforehand.  So I laid out  chunks of cornmeal bread, salami, parmesan cheese,  and sour cream pound cake, and we snacked on that for a while.

Dinner (after the play, at Tastee Diner): Bacon and eggs, home fries with onions, and wheat toast with butter and jam.  Another cup of coffee, which was a mistake because it made me sleep badly.
 
Nov. 22
Breakfast (6:30 am, before work): one fried egg, piece of cornmeal toast with natural ground peanut butter, carrot sticks.

Lunch (at about 4:00, after a very long day and grueling Sunday at work): salami, parmesan cheese, carrot sticks, piece of corn toast with unnatural peanut butter and strawberry jam.

Snacks at work: None.  Nothing whatsoever except water and breath mints.

Other snacks: 4 cups of coffee with half and half and/or heavy cream, 2 regular, 2 decaf.
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Dinner: Dominoes pizza with mushrooms and spinach, eaten while watching a 3-weeks-old episode of Downton Abbey with my husband and daughter.  I was too exhausted to cook.  My daughter ordered an individual pizza for herself which she called a "none pizza with left beef."  Apparently this is some sort of internet joke.  It was a plain crust with beef scattered on one half.  (Although, as she pointed out, how can you tell which is the left half and which is the right half?  It is round.)  We both took photos of her none pizza with left beef and she texted it to her friends.  I posted it on my blog.  She also ate it.

Note that I am now over one month behind on posting diary entries.  However, soon-- soon!-- there will be more time for catching up.  I can't wait.

Breakfast: mandarin orange, two pieces of ciabatta toast with butter and jam, salted almonds.

Lunch: There was really no meal here per se, but just a series of snacks drawn out over a several-hour period (some just before starting work at 11 am, and some during the work shift).  In aggregrate, though, lunch consisted of Craisins, two hard-boiled eggs, and a mini peanut-butter sandwich of ciabatta bread and natural ground peanuts.  I ate half the Craisins and the the tiny sandwich sitting on a street bench near the Bank of America.  I ate the rest of the Craisins and the two eggs standing up behind the counter at work, while my coworker refilled bottles of ketchup.  The 11-5 waitressing shift is very inconvenient for lunching.

Last CSA bag of the season-- a sad occasion.  Bag of mixed salad greens, bag of spinach, another absolutely gorgeous bok choy, one gigantic sweet potato and two tiny little ones, lots of fat carrots, a single beet (why?).

Dinner: mix of roasted vegetables ( farm carrots, potato and onion from the Giant); sauteed farm spinach; mandarin orange; slices of ciabatta bread with melted parmesan cheese on top. This was delicious and colorful, though simple.  It's been a while since I've done the mixed roasted vegetables, which used to be one of my staples. 

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee (2 regular, 2 decaf); 1 Red Hook IPA; a couple of pieces of parmesan cheese when I got home after work and was starving; small bowl of Heritage Os after dinner while watching John Oliver with my husband.

Breakfast: Peanut butter cheesecake.  Carrot sticks.

I brought the last quarter of the peanut butter cheesecake to work and shared it among several people.  It was very popular.  Now it is gone.

Lunch: japchae,  vegetable mandoo and fried rice brought home from the restaurant.  This was basically just a big pile of carbs with a little vegetable and soy sauce.  I ate this as quickly as I could while preparing to drive to my daughter's high school and bring her some items she'd forgotten this morning for the first performance of her school play tonight, Twelve Angry Jurors (the gender-neutral adaptation of Twelve Angry Men).  This is how this morning went:

6:00 am: Hello?  Time to get up!  It's 6:00!
Uhhhh....  (five minutes later, is in bathroom getting ready)

6:20 am: Wait... (looks at dry hair under always-worn black beanie) did you take a shower?
No... I decided not to.
But, don't you have to perform tonight?
(looks guilty)
I'm not sure what your hair style is going to be...
I'm not, either.
...but maybe you don't want to have your hair all greasy?
Oh.  I didn't think of that.  (returns to bathroom, removes clothes again, and takes shower)

6:35 am: (is wolfing down breakfast in preparation for leaving house at 6:42 sharp, hair is now wet, once again wearing black beanie)
Do you think maybe it would be better not to wear the beanie today, so you don't have hat hair tonight?
I always bring my hairbrush to rehearsal.
Yeah, but it makes your hair all flat and greasy...
OK, maybe you're right.  (Leaves beanie on table.  Grabs up backpack, lunchbox, binder and umbrella.  Forgets to pack other important things such as key props and money for dinner.  Rushes out the door for the bus.)

Upon reviewing the evidence, I can see that perhaps it was my fault she forgot essential items this morning.  I was so obsessed by her hair that I could see nothing else.

Dinner: Frozen yogurt at the mall near my daughter's school, while waiting for it to be time for the play: green tea and plain tart yogurts, topped with mango boba, a piece of sponge cake, and 2 caramel creams.

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee with half and half, two regular, two decaf.  One of which was drunk in the back seat of my car, outside the Wheaton mall Starbucks, over which a perfect rainbow hung.  There was no place available to sit inside the Starbucks.  I drank my decaf double Americano while doing stuff on my computer (including writing this) while the world grew steadily darker around me.  An hour later, the rainbow has turned to a thick gray cloud and the day to night.  I hate the fall time change.

Other snacks, when I came home at night after the play (her hair looked great!): two pieces of ciabatta toast with butter, handful of salted almonds, small dish of salted almonds mixed with dried currants, mandarin orange.

​Shopping at Giant (in between Starbucks-in-the-car and "dinner"): Store-made ciabatta bread, 1% lactose-free milk, quart of vanilla greek yogurt, butter, Stella parmesan wedge, soy sauce, small can of salted almonds, Sensodyne Pronamel toothpaste, one yellow onion, bag of Craisins, 3 russet potatoes.  $37.

Breakfast: celery sticks, piece of peanut butter cheesecake.  The cheesecake has improved dramatically from yesterday.  The texture is much drier and cheesecakier and for some reason the sweetness is not as overwhelming.  Definitely recommend making this a day ahead.

Lunch: tofu fried rice from the restaurant, with chili paste to make it spicy.  This was supposed to be vegetable fried rice with tofu added (i.e., contain carrots and spinach), and that is what I paid for, but regular tofu fried rice is what I got.  There have been a lot of mistakes in my orders lately, and I'm guessing it would not just be MY orders. 

I am feeling kind of off-balance because I informed my boss today that I want to cut my hours down by half after the holidays, so I will have more time to write.  This seems both self-indulgent and risky, even though at the moment we can afford it.

Dinner: I don't feel like going to the store.  We have some of the sausage I made from Jennifer Reese's Make the Bread, Buy the Butter-- I have a bunch stored in the freezer-- some beets roasted in tin foil, mandarin oranges and arugula salad. 

The sausage did not come out very well.  It's overly salty and sweet and sage-y and fatty, really intense.  It also did not grind very evenly in my blender-cum-food-processor.  (My actual food processor has fallen on the floor, twice, and both times the bowl cracked and broke.  We replaced it the first time but the same thing just happened again almost immediately.  Do not recommend this flimsy product!)  In any case, I am not one to waste resources, so we are eating the sausage anyway.  This was a situation where the expression "see how the sausage is made" really came home to me.  Actually observing sausage being made is kind of gross. 

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee with half and half, 2 regular, 2 decaf.  One small sliver and one larger sliver (the latter cut by my husband) of peanut butter cheesecake.  It is addictive.

We're back.

Breakfast: A banana before couples' therapy.  8 am appointments are hard and I really don't have much time to eat first; on the other hand, the last thing I need is to show up hangry.  Then, a bowl of Heritage Os cereal, a boiled egg, and a mandarin orange later in the morning.

Lunch: Slice of white Italian toast with "4-cheese pizza" shredded cheese and sliced pepperoni.  Some cranberry cheddar cheese.  Celery sticks.

Dinner: short-grain white rice, stir-fry of garlic, celery, farm carrots, farm bok choy, farm tatsoi, scallions and cilantro.  Topped with fried eggs.  Deb Perelman's peanut butter cheesecake for dessert.

I love tatsoi.  I first had it in this Chinese restaurant, as a side dish stirfried with lots of garlic.  I fell in love.  Since then I have only had the opportunity to have it a handful of times, so imagine my delight when I found a big bunch of it in last week's CSA bag! 
​
The peanut butter cheesecake was moderately successful-- the crust didn't quite work out right, but it was hardly noticeable in the end-- but the cake is overwhelmingly sweet and very creamy.  I prefer a drier, cheesier cheesecake, whereas this one is all chocolate and peanut butter and sugar, sugar, sugar.  I would halve the sugar and certainly not add any to the crust (there's a half a cup of brown sugar in there along with the crushed chocolate cookies, but why??).  Deb is one of the best bakers I know, and her desserts are usually phenomenal, but this one is too much for me, I think.  She did try to warn me. ("Really, I can’t go any further without warning you that this is the type of cake where even a sliver will feel like a massive portion. ")*
 
Snacks: 4 cups coffee with half and half (2 regular, 2 decaf); many licks of peanut butter cheesecake batter.

I have never been able to master food photography.  Here are some pictures of what my kitchen really looks like when I'm in the middle of baking a cheesecake:
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* But see here for updated opinion!

I have not been having great luck with Bon Appetit recipes lately.  Bon Appetit claims that its recipes go through extensive development, discussion, and third-party testing before being published.  Great, but if that's true, then how do so many stupidities make it through the whole process and into the magazine?  Messed-up quantities, useless or erroneous instructions, uninspiring flavor, or the just-basically-a-dumb-idea quality of the peach-blackberry campfire cake?  (Bon Appetit editorial staff, did you really try baking that cake in the coals of a campfire before your daily 3 pm tasting meeting?)

In 2013, food blog The Bitten Word organized a massive cover-to-cover testing of Bon Appetit's September issue.  Multiple readers cooked every recipe in the issue.  54% of testers said they would definitely make their recipe again in the same way.  33% said they might make the recipe again, but make some changes.  And 13% said no, they would never make their recipe again.  Certain recipes, as one might expect, were loved by every single one of their testers, while there also distinct least-favorites.  It was unclear, to me, whether these were recipes containing errors, or whether they were simply unappetizing.  (Which, I guess, is an error in itself.  The 1960 New York Times Cookbook should never have included all those recipes for consomme and organ meats.)

So, in this test involving hundreds of people, you might say the magazine performed pretty well.  The Bitten Word's editors themselves expressed that they were surprised by the number of "yes-I'd-make-it-again" positive responses.  (Does this mean, since their own blog is based on testing food magazine recipes, that their own experience would suggest a lower success rate?)  On the other hand, the 1/3 of testers who said they might make the recipe again but would "make some changes"-- those are the ones that would concern me if I were a Bon Appetit editor.  If the recipe works correctly, you should either enjoy it and be willing to make it again, or not think it's worth making a second time, for whatever reason.  You should not immediately perceive that the recipe requires "some changes" in order to be worthwhile.  

(I've just realized that I have complained specifically about butter in three Bon Appetit recipes already on this blog.  The pistachio cookies contained too much butter for my taste, while the blueberry-pecan galette contained so much butter that the dough melted.  The instructions for adding butter to the peach-blackberry camp cake were nonsensical.)

Here are a few of the less positive comments from the Bitten Word's readers/testers about their assigned recipes:

"The online recipe calls for 1 cup mustard while the printed recipe says 1/4 cup mustard (which is plenty).  I was wondering if there was a mistake in the directions, thinking it might have worked better to run the flavored oil through the sieve, not the finished sauce."

"From there the recipe continues to refer to this this mixture 'rye oil' where mine looked like 'bread powder'. I read and re-read the recipe confirming I did everything according to instruction so I'm not sure what gives."

"A fermented ginger base that will bubble by itself but appear to die quickly when added to other ingredients.  It is supposed to add carbonation to drink the old fashioned way.  Instead it adds sadness. UPDATE SEVERAL DAYS LATER: After leaving the grape alone for a couple more days, it bubbled!  And carbonated the soda! It opened sounding like a soda, smelled like pizza dough and tasted like something had gone horribly wrong.  Maybe it had gone too far into alcohol production.  I didn't drink enough to really tell.  The few small sips I took were all I could stomach. I am waiting to see if anyone got this recipe to work.  I'll go back to something easy, like rocket science."

"Then I realized the recipe called for some odd instructions: Roast the lamb first and then rest it for 30 minutes. While it's resting, bake the polenta for 60 to 75 minutes. Ummm... that seems a little too long to be resting my meat."

"Right off the bat something struck me as being off.  The recipe calls for the lamb to be roasted for 60 min/lb. calling for a 3 lb shoulder to be roasted at 325 for 3-3 ½ hours.  This seemed a little long and thankfully we checked the temp at 2:40 and the roast was already well done.  We also reduced the time on the sear at the end, as the recipe called for 500 for 10-15 mins to get the lamb golden brown.[...] As with any recipe, use your judgment, if we followed the cooking times in the recipe this dish could have been completely ruined."

In any given case, it is difficult to say whether a poor result is a matter of a bad recipe, or cook's error, and so the Bitten Word's project is particularly interesting because multiple readers try each recipe-- in most cases, some succeed happily while others complain of pitfalls.  But, overall, I am not feeling particularly confident in Bon Appetit to provide recipes that are consistently coherent and tasty.  Maybe my standards are just too high?  After all, most cookbooks contain successes and failures also. I've long ago learned to ignore the salt quantities specified in Madhur Jaffrey's recipes, quantities which seem completely random, and just use my own judgment. What kind of track record is reasonable to expect?

I leave you with a few blasts from the past, courtesy of Huffington Post, but actually compiled by a Bon Appetit writer.  My favorites, which are all from the 1970s, because of course they are:  

• The Avocado Meatza: "It is topped with cheddar cheese soup and its crust is made entirely of lean ground beef."  What?
• The Blue Cheese Mousse: This one is all about the photo, which looks like a carefully molded pile of mold.  Well, that is pretty much what it is.  Also, I used the word "mold" two ways in one sentence.
• The California Waldorf Salad: Also all about the photo, which pictures a Waldorf salad that has been embalmed in Jello.

Go look!





​

Breakfast: piece of sourdough toast with butter and jam, celery sticks, green pepper sticks, carrot sticks, apple, 1 fried egg.  Sometimes you need to load up and get your fruits and vegetables.

In the morning before work, I make this Peach-Blackberry Camp Cake from Bon Appetit.  Of course, I did not make it in the coals of my campfire, but according to the alternative oven directions.  I ran into a recipe problem right away when directed to "vigorously stir in" one whole stick of butter, room temperature, at the same time as other wet ingredients, to a mixture of dry ingredients.  Really?  How would that work, exactly?  One would presumably end up with a batter that had an intact stick of butter floating in the middle of it.  Because I am an experienced cook, I elected to rub in the butter with my fingers before adding the wet ingredients, and this was fine.  But I pity the inexperienced cook who follows these lame instructions.  Also, this is purportedly a "camp cake," but who the hell is going to bring all this shit camping?  Peaches, blackberries, roasted almonds, demerara sugar, buttermilk??  Come on, Bon Appetit.  Make the cake at home, then bring it with you in the car.

The cake, incidentally, was mushy, but tasty enough.  The photo on Bon Appetit's website looks mushy too, so maybe that is the way it was supposed to be.  I don't know.  I wouldn't go out of my way.

Lunch: Sourdough toast with "4-cheese pizza" shredded cheese, pepperoni slices from the bag, cranberry cheddar cheese, celery sticks.  The last thing I felt like eating was more of this bitter celery, but I forced myself.  Virtue. Eaten at 10 am, when not at all hungry, because I have to work a serving shift from 11-5, and won't have a chance to eat.
...

And... the thread is lost again.  Just the simple discipline of keeping a diary seems too much for me these days.  Don't know what I had for dinner, or indeed for the next three days.

Nov. 10
Breakfast: Leftover white rice with soy sauce, leftover penne from last night with cheese baked on top.

Lunch: bowl of Heritage O's cereal with lactose-free 1% milk.  Slice of sourdough toast with butter and strawberry jam, 6 dried figs.  Too many carbs these days.

Dinner: miso soup, 3 gyoza, 1 tempura onion ring, 1 each tuna, shrimp, yellowtail nigiri sushi, 2 salmon nigiri sushi, 1 pc tempura sweet potato roll, 1 pc dragon roll, 4 pc tuna roll. 1 frozen red bean mochi.  Eaten at sushi restaurant chosen by our Korean friends Scarlet and Joseph (Joseph is 6 years old).  We are sad tonight because Scarlet and Joseph are moving to Baton Rouge in a couple of weeks.  We have been close friends for years now (really Scarlet is my only local friend) and we will miss them very much.  Joseph is subdued at first, but by the end of the meal he is climbing in my daughter's lap and whispering  "boogers" and "poop" into our ears.  Maybe the double scoop of green tea ice cream he ate had something to do with this burst of energy.

Snacks: 5 cups of coffee with half and half (2 regular, 3 decaf); small dish of Whole Foods tequila-lime corn chips (I am so addicted to those).
 
Nov. 11
I have had mild indigestion ever since dinner last night, and my daughter was up at 4:00 am feeling sick to her stomach.  Poor girl.  She skipped breakfast and I packed her a lunch full of bland foods.

Breakfast: More tequila-lime corn chips.  6 figs.  One fried egg.  I put half a dozen shrimp with bay seasoning on the plate, but they are truly terrible-- overcooked and rubbery, plus not deveined and very gritty inside.  I ate two, then gave up in disgust.

Lunch: Eaten at 3:15 pm after a very busy Veteran's day shift.  I'm exhausted, thirsty and hungry.  Sliced pepperoni from the package, cranberry cheddar cheese, slice of sourdough bread with melted "4-cheese pizza" shredded cheese, half a grapefruit.  Cat is lurking near the pepperoni, but she would never actually eat something so strong-smelling.  She's just imagining eating it.

Shopping: Coop-- Field Day Bran Plus cereal, Ecover toilet cleaner, Citrasolv spray cleaner, 4 rolls Seventh Generation toilet paper, quart Brown Cow maple yogurt, 10 oz. bag dark roast coffee beans.  $31.

Dinner: Madhur Jaffrey's Cold Eggplants with a Soy Sauce Dressing, white rice, steamed spinach with sesame oil, stir-fried tofu.  The only thing I wrote down in my cookbook next to Cold Eggplants with a Soy Sauce Dressing was "Meh."

Snacks: 3 cups coffee with half and half, 2 regular, 1 decaf, plus another 1/2 c. decaf which I sipped at the end of my work shift while doing my sidework.  Handful of tequila-lime chips and 1 slice sourdough bread, eaten at 1:15 a.m. when I woke up to pee and found myself starving.
 
Nov. 12-- my birthday
Breakfast: leftover white rice with eggplant, Brown Cow maple yogurt.

Lunch: from my restaurant after work.  Kimchi fried rice with salmon filet and fried egg on top.  I tried to design something special and festive, but it turned out merely OK.  The salmon was overcooked (sometimes it's perfect) and the kimchi had a slightly off, fishy flavor.

Dinner: Movie theater package of Sour Patch Kids, eaten at the Internet Cat Video Festival at the AFI!

Snacks: 4 cups coffee with half and half (2 regular, 2 decaf), 2 bowls full of tequila lime corn chips (eaten at home after late "lunch" while still in birthday spirit and playing lazy computer game-- the chips are now gone, thank God).