This was a day of, how shall I put it, "planned dissolution." I've been having a terrible time, since I cut down on my work hours, figuring out how to engage my natural sense of self-discipline for this new lifestyle. There are a lot of new habits to make, and old ones to renew, and it is both an exciting time and a struggle. There are also old habits, designed for "relaxing" after a tough work day (computer games, coffee breaks), that are no longer strictly necessary when the day is not so tough, and yet I find myself pining for them. The recent middle-of-the-day food binges-- which haven't been an issue for me in a while-- seem like they must be symptomatic of the discipline/freedom problems of this new regime. I decided to give myself a whole day today to do absolutely nothing, eat crap (all the jelly beans I want!), watch TV, play computer games, not cook dinner. Just nothing. Make myself completely ill with it, like my husband chain-smoking as many cigarettes as he could before swearing off them forever (which, incidentally, he did last March. So far, so good. I'm proud of you, honey). Not that I'm swearing off jellybeans or games forever, but I need to get them out of my system for the short term. Is that a rationalization? Yes.

Jellybeans: After lunch, I ate a lot of jellybeans, one at a time. After about 2 hours of eating jellybeans one at a time, I could not handle any more, so I stopped.

Snacks: 4 cups of coffee, 2 regular, 2 decaf, with half & half. 1 glass of sherry (but I didn't finish it).